63 posts tagged “television”

Damn, I got real lax on a lot of my weekly segments. So for those of you new to the neighborhood or those of you who forgot, "Givin' em the Deuces"  was my unsentimental way of saying goodbye to reality show contestants that I grown irrationally fond of and in all likelihood would never see again outside of Top Model marathon on VH1, a Piggly Wiggly Ribbon cutting or "stolen" sex tape that is released before fifteenth minute ticks away. I'm kind of hoping for that last one to happen, preferably in the form of Sean Cody BitTorrent,  with this week's honoree and latest Nashville Star castoff, Justin Gaston.

Justin Gaston

He wasn't the second coming of Johnny Cash, but he sure was really purdy and nice to look at. He turned in a fairly competent performance  this week with a countrified take on "Girls Just Want To Have Fun" (Sidenote: Speaking of which, I sat through that old movie of the same name this weekend.* The one with Sarah Jessica Parker and Helen Hunt and without Cyndi Lauper's original version of the song.  I managed to totally spook myself because I rememebered the chorus to the final dance showdown song "Dancing in Heaven." Of all the useless crap to be knocking arounnd my noggin**).

By competent I mean, Whoa, dig that man cleavage! Big Daddy wants to go motorboating! he managed to get through it without completely defecating on Cyndi Lauper, but somebody needs to break out the baby wipes to clean off  Madonna. Because this shit right here . . .

* What?! I needed to something to wash of the bad taste of The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward blah blah blah off my tongue and this movie was defintely syrupy enough to do it.

**To add insult to injury, my inner ten-year-old resurfaced and felt that same pang longing I felt the first time I saw Helen Hunt ride out on the chariot as the new Miss DTV. I felt myself wanting to be Miss DTV all over again. 

image, by far the tamest of the bunch (this one is my favorite) from mostbeautifulman

Although declared dead nearly a year ago,  the fist bump had a little life in it yet and a little strength left (I should be crying but I just can't let it show). Enough to crawl its way onto National stage and enjoy one last glorious moment. Alas, that moment would be followed by three weeks of notoriety and a horrifying death witnessed by millions on television (Warning, video not for the faint of heart or hip).

The fist bump will be laid to rest alongside its other fallen brethren (Bling Bling, Gazelle Shades and recently deceased Shoulder Dusting.)

Please note, that like other things that you do with your hands, attempting to resurrect the fist bump  has lethal consequences. Every time you fist bump . . .  God kills a puppy. Please, think about the puppies-- even the cute ones with a death wish (see photo below).

Whos-awesome

The Coalition of Hip and Ethnically Aligned Folks (carefully overseen by The Black Crusaders) are currently discussing possible replacements for the fist bump. Until a decision is announced, victories and other celebratory occasion may be marked by a good old-fashioned ass pat.*

Ass Pat. Proper

Tristan Wilds

Happy endings were few and far between on the series finale of The Wire (Poor Dukie! Poor Alma!) So seeing a few of the actors from that great ensemble land other roles has kind of helped  me to make up my own. Like Thursday! It was nice to see Bea Amy Ryan get a nice Office job. And when Daniels Lance Reddick isn't tooling around around in his caddy,  it  good to see him still putting that steely glance of his to work and scaring the bejesus out  of the losties as Matthew  Abaddon. But in the warbled words of Idol wannabe Juanita Barber, "what about the children" who brought most of the emotional heft to season four and a fair share of heartbreak to season 5 (Dammit Dukie! Damn you Kenard)? When we last saw Michael, he was on his way to becoming Omar v2.0, an outsider wreaking havoc on "the game" with a pretty boy by his side and an honor code all his own. Most of us know how well that turned out for  v1.0. So I was disheartened to see Michael following along on the same path-- although he had few other options. Therefore when I found out who was in the cast of the upcoming 90210 spin-off, I warmed up to the show a little more. Micheal's Tristan Wilds has made it off the means streets of B'more and is moving on up to B'Hills-- and Lucille Bluth is Jessica Walters plays his adoptive grandmother!

Here's hoping a blood relative or foster family shows up from Dixon Mills' past. I don't know who.  Maybe  . . . someone a bit on the androgynous side who knows how to handle a nail gun and takes extreme pride in her hair.     

Yesterday was Beatrice "Bea" Arthur's 86th birthday!

Bea Arthur

Long before I had dreams of becoming Carrie Bradshaw (and eventually let them go.Thankfully because me and my big head  couldn't work this type of whimsy. You know, unless I found a Mulefa seedpod and hot glue-gunned a Tualapi to it.* Viola!), my talismanic TV lady idol was that mother-loving and no-nonsense taking  Dorothy Zbornak. I was just like her. The tall one. The sensible one. The one with the soft spot for yutzes and the deep voice. There quite a few, but  here is one of my favorite Golden Girls' moment featuring Bea.

And here's a bonus clip. No clue where it's from but with Bea, Madame (!) Melba Moore (!) and  Rock Hudson  declaring  he's been "down low," it doesn't get any gayer than this!

Long live Queen Bea!

What's the best April Fools' Day prank you've ever had pulled on you?
Courtesy of Team Vox.

That was a good one Team Vox. I won't go into real life pranks pulled on me, because I'm not to sure about what the statute of limitations on assault charges are-- and I've been known to smack a few after they pulled one over me. So I tell you about the online prank that broke my heart the most. It was a posting on Dlisted claiming that a 9 to 5 sequel was in the works. When I found out I'd been duped, I was crushed.

But of course there's news of  the Broadway version coming closer to fruition and Dolly night on Idol to salve any unhealed wounds. I just hope to God that David Cook doesn't trot out the White Stripes' version of Jolene.

My Gayest Look

http://mygayestlook.com/

From the site:

On Thursday, March 20, 2008, Jay Leno welcomed as his guest on The Tonight Show the actor Ryan Phillippe, who, early in his career, played a gay character on the daily soap One Life to Live. During the interview, Leno hounded Phillippe, telling him to look into the camera, pretend it was his "gay lover…Billy Bob," who "has just ridden in shirtless from Wyoming" (still milking the Brokeback jokes), and give it his "gayest look."
Jeff—who, in 2006, famously penned a letter to Jay Leno about his homophobic humor—completed another missive, in which he included a photographic sign-off (at left) of his "gayest look." Melissa—who was similarly agitated in 2006—then offered up her "gayest look" (also at left), and soon her readers began to send in their gayest looks—and an avalanche began. Simultaneously, writer Dan Savage suggested to Jeff that he collect people's "gayest looks," and that, folks, is called synchronicity. Forces were joined.

And while we're being a bit cheeky about all this, our message is dead serious: A 2005 study by GLSEN found that 90% of LGBTQ teens had been harassed or assaulted during the previous year. They were three times as likely as non-LGBTQ students to say that they do not feel safe at school and remain at increased risk for bullying, assault, and suicide. That doesn't happen in a void. Gay jokes are not harmless; they contribute to a culture in which institutionalized homophobia has tragic consequences. We want Jay Leno to know that we, LGBTQ people and their allies, are not amused.

Neither am I. So I decided to offer my gayest look too (had to keep the hood on because I'm in dire need of a haircut).

Felipesgayestlook

Who is your favorite Survivor on Fans vs. Favorites?

Superficially speaking, it's great to have James back.

James

But I definitely love having Cirie back. What she lacks in physical capabilities, she definitely makes up for it by playing the social aspect of the game best. However she may want to reign it in a bit, she's getting a little bit beside herself. Last week, she was complaining about the fans lack of outdoor skills. She was the woman afraid of leaves during her initial season.

Cirie

Which designer do you think will win this season's Project Runway?

Nobody has really knocked my socks off this season. I wish I was a taken with Christian as he was with himself. My favorite is "Sissy Bear" aka Chris (Hooray for MRSA! Kidding!)  with Sweet Pea following in a close second. However that's because I imagine they're people I'd love to hang with more so than their designs (although I did love what Sweet Pea cranked out on the denim challenge) .

Chris

As for the winner? I'm picking Jillian. Girl just needs to pick up her pace because it seems like she's the last one Tim's always calling out of the workroom to head for the runway,

Jillian